In recent months, I’ve spoken with friends who have drifted from the Christian faith for various reasons: doctrinal doubt, a pastor’s failure, church abuse, political triumphalism, Covid conflict, ethnic tensions, or personal sin. Many evangelicals call this “deconstruction.”
So how do you respond when a loved one or church member informs you they are deconstructing their faith? How do you engage them with compassionate care and biblical counsel (Ephesians 4:15)?
The Problem of Deconstruction[1]
First, before giving an answer, seek to understand their situation (Proverbs 18:13). Most intellectual doubt begins with an experience of suffering, but eventually results in loss of hope or broken relationships (e.g., Ruth 1:21-22). Logical arguments often hide the hurt of an emotional wound and every deconstruction story is unique (e.g., Job 2:9). So let’s listen with compassion and view people first as sufferers who are misled instead of sinners who needs rebuke (1 Thessalonians 5:14). As Brian Zhand describes our present age: “Being angry at people for losing their faith is like being angry at medieval people for dying of the plague.”[2]
Second, realize that deconstruction is not always synonymous with deconversion (e.g., Luke 24:13-21). Losing one’s religion is a journey in which your loved one allows you to walk with them a portion of the way (e.g., John 20:24-25). Don’t hit the panic button, argue them into a U-turn, or write them off as a lost cause. If you are a parent or a church leader, they may no longer consider you a spiritual authority, but you can still be a guide by listening well and asking good questions (vv. 26-29). Patient and gentle urging can help you to regain their trust (1 Thessalonians 2:7). Let’s “have mercy on those who doubt” (Jude 22) because most of us have been there ourselves (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Third, understand their heart motives (Luke 6:43-45). A doubter’s suffer-ology reveals the soil of their soul (Mark 4:1-20). Why have they encountered this crisis of faith and embraced a journey of deconstruction? What do they want that they are not getting or what are they getting that they do not want (James 4:1-3)? Postvangelicals will deny the inerrancy, authority, and sufficiency of Scripture, yet few began that way (Hebrews 2:1). Their abandonment of God’s Word likely happened gradually as they distanced themselves from the historic church and its teachings (e.g., Jude 3-4). Let’s be wise counselors who draw out the purpose in their hearts (Proverbs 20:5).
Most importantly, do not lose hope (Psalm 42:5-6a). Never take your eyes off Jesus or blame yourself for not doing enough (Romans 8:1; 1 Corinthians 7:16). “The founder and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2) often brings us through the fire in order to refine us (1 Peter 1:3-7).
According to Alisa Childers, “Deconstruction is the process of systematically dissecting and often rejecting the beliefs you grew up with.”[3] As Christians, we should continually test our faith and evaluate the strength of our beliefs (1 Thessalonians 5:21), yet biblical truth remains our standard for discernment (Psalm 19:7-9). By contrast, others who may have begun their journey with sincere questions and a healthy dose of doubt, will turn astray if they have built their faith on any foundation besides God’s inerrant Word (Matthew 7:24-27).
For this reason, doubt and unbelief are usually the result, and not the root cause, of departure (vv. 15-20). Many postvangelicals once belonged to gospel-centered churches. They professed the same truths, attended like-minded institutions, and engaged in similar types of ministry (vv. 21-23). Some were even popular writers, speakers, and influencers in the Christian world. Those who cease professing Christ rarely began their journey intending to deny him or to abandon the faith (e.g., Luke 9:1-2). Instead, they followed a more gradual slope (1 John 2:19). So what lies at the heart of deconstruction?
Personal Suffering
Hurting people can begin to doubt when they experience personal pain (e.g., Habakkuk 1:1-4). Some walk away from the church after witnessing moral scandals, financial impropriety, or spiritual abuse. Others abandon the faith when either disgusted or deceived by the legalism of professing believers (e.g., 1 Timothy 4:1-3). Grief and loss have led many to doubt the doctrine of eternal judgment and other hard teachings in Scripture (Hebrews 9:27). False prophets will also turn many away from Christ as in the face of trials (Matthew 24:9-14). Instead of making them stronger, their difficulties can lead them to deconstruct (James 2:1-12). Let’s help them to envision the better ending of our Creator’s gospel story (Revelation 21:1-5).
People-Pleasing
Other people wrestle with social issues over which the church and culture appear to be in conflict (i.e., racial justice, abortion rights, immigration). In their desire for the approval of others, they fall away from the church and embrace the culture’s values (1 Corinthians 1:18-31). They might cringe with embarrassment over traditional church teachings which have fallen out-of-style in our modern world (i.e., creationism, the virgin birth, substitutionary atonement). Some might alter their stance on homosexuality when a loved one “comes out” or drift from the faith after marrying an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). Sadly, they are influenced by the ridicule of others instead of starting with the Scriptures to establish their convictions (Psalm 119:105). In many parts of the world, persecution and societal pressure also have an impact (Matthew 13:20-21). This fear of man becomes a snare (Proverbs 29:25; e.g., Mark 14:66-72) until people-pleasers reinterpret the Bible to fit the views of others (2 Timothy 4:3-4). They love the praise of men more than the praise of God (John 12:42-43). Yet “what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36).
Pride
Many also depart from the faith because they put themselves first instead of seeking church unity (e.g., 3 John 9). The root cause here involves prideful unrepentance, an unwillingness to seek forgiveness, or a stubborn refusal to pursue peace (Romans 12:18). Others claim that the church is filled with hypocrites who do not measure up to the standard of Christ (Matthew 7:1-5). Sometimes pride manifests itself in a young person’s desire for independence such that rebellion becomes a badge of honor (Proverbs 15:20). Rejecting their parents’ faith gets lumped in with rejecting their parents’ authority (e.g., 2 Sam 13-18). Prideful people place themselves above Christ, church unity, and the call to humble repentance (1 Peter 5:5-6). Let’s help them to doubt their doubts because “the heart is deceitful” (Jeremiah 17:5-6, 9) and only the Lord can understand it (vv. 7-8, 10). Then let’s model for them the “grace and truth” of our Servant Savior (John 1:14) as we draw them back to Jesus (Philippians 2:1-11).
Popularity
Another common factor is the popularity gained by going with a different crowd. Hymenaeus, Alexander, and Philetus were false teachers who may have left the church over a conflict of ideas and a refusal to repent of blasphemy (1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 2:17). Surely, they took some of their followers with them.Although well-known postvangelicals have lost book deals and their previous following, many have actually grown in popularity for raging against traditional Christian faith or telling their deconversion stories on social media. An entire support system now exists to guide those in the process of deconstruction without the former stigma. Let’s discern which community (often online) has replaced the church for them and gain insight into their heart (Proverbs 13:20).
Pleasure
One more root cause involves the desire for pleasure as some depart from the faith to excuse moral wrongs (Matthew 24:12-13). For example, a man pursuing sexual sin may turn from Christ’s call to purity and marital commitment (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7; Hebrews 13:4). At first, his conscience informs him that his thoughts and behavior are sinful, but he ignores these warnings and stops paying them attention (1 Timothy 4:2). In this manner, Demas fell “in love with this present world” (2 Timothy 4:10) and apostates become “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (3:4). So let’s display the beauty of Christ as we gently restore them to the faith (Galatians 6:1; 1 John 3:2).
The Call to Persevere
A postvangelical may start out on the path of deconstruction for various reasons, but their journey eventually leads to a denial of God’s Word. So how do we hold fast to the faith and help our loved ones to stand firm as well (Hebrews 10:23)?
First, we must fix our eyes on Jesus (12:2) as we keep his commandments (John 14:15) and cherish his Word (Psalm 119:97). Our desire to please Christ overshadows our desire to please others (Galatians 1:10) as we endure persecution and ridicule for his sake (1 Peter 4:12-14). We then pursue peace for the unity of his body (Ephesians 4:1-6) and build up one another with truth and grace (v. 29). Jesus came to “bind up the brokenhearted” (Isaiah 61:1; see Luke 4:18) and to minister “the words of eternal life” (John 6:67-69). So in Christ, we discover forgiveness for our stubborn pride and seek repentance in order to be right with God (1 John 1:9).
Second, we must find a place to belong in our local church (Acts 2:42-47) which has been charged with making disciples (Matthew 28:18-20) and preaching the whole counsel of God’s Word (2 Timothy 4:1-4). We rub shoulders with older saints (Titus 2:1-8), strengthen one another like iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), and stir up the church to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24-25). We pray for our love to “abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment” (Philippians 1:9). We celebrate Christian heroes in the Bible (Romans 15:4) and throughout history (Hebrews 12:1). We help the weak when they struggle and rely on the strong when our own faith needs help (Ecclesiastes 4:12). We address problem areas preemptively (2 Peter 2) and discuss our differences within the healthy confines of Christ’s body, the church (e.g., Acts 15). We also welcome those who strayed, but eventually returned (e.g., 2 Timothy 4:11b).
Finally, we must affirm the Bible as God’s living and active Word (Hebrews 4:12). We trust God’s Spirit to guide our interpretation of culture and society (John 16:13-14), then accept God’s Word as sufficient for all matters related to life and godliness (2 Timothy 3:15-17; 2 Peter 1:3). We delight in the gospel (Psalm 19:10) and build our lives on its foundation (Romans 1:16). We do not merely listen to these truths, but persevere in doing them as well (James 1:22-25).
Deconstruction is like watching too many home improvement shows that make remodeling look easy. Yet we cause tremendous damage by take a sledgehammer to our faith without a blueprint for renovation. God’s house is still being built “if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope” (Hebrews 3:1-6). So let’s cast a vision for tearing down strongholds such that even our demolition has a Christward purpose (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). May we confess our own failures which have shaken the faith of others (James 5:16) and offer hope in Christ to postvangelicals whose lives have crumbled on shifting sand. Then may our exhortations continually build each other up as we construct our faith on Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
[1] A previous version of this article was published by the Association of Biblical Counselors. Scott Mehl and Tom Sugimura also explore the subject further on The Messy Podcast.
[2] Brian Zhand, When Everything’s on Fire.
[3] Alisa Childers, Another Gospel? Some Christians do speak of a positive kind of deconstruction in the vein of personal sanctification (Romans 12:1-2) or the Protestant’s semper reformanda, “The church is always being reformed” (e.g., Galatians 2). Most, however, view deconstruction negatively because they see progressives denying foundational doctrines and others fully apostatizing from the faith (Hebrews 3:7-4:1).
