Drowning in Shame (Psalm 69)

“I wish he were dead!” “I hope she suffers just like I did!” Such words might shock us, but it reveals the pain of being slandered in secret or stabbed in the back. When people say or do what makes us feel small, Psalm 69 is a life preserver for those drowning in shame. So, let’s study it first as David’s prayer before we hear it speak of Christ.[1] Then, let’s apply it to anyone who suffers in this fallen world.

God’s People Face Shameful Suffering (vv. 1-12)

Psalm 69 opens with the scene of a man drowning: “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck” (Ps 69:1). David reaches out his flailing hand, gasping for breath as the floodwaters fill his throat.[2] Unless God rescues him from this watery grave, he will surely die: “I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God” (vv. 2-3). He is helplessly carried along by the torrent, limbs aching, voice cracked, eyes strained for someone to help. Wave after wave crashes over him as his soul begins to go under.

This threat of drowning figuratively describe his shame: “More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies. What I did not steal must I now restore?” (v. 4). David’s numerous enemies spread their lies against him. This might refer to the time Shimei angrily accused David of stealing Saul’s throne. Shimei had cursed at David repeatedly, while throwing stones at him: “Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! The Lord has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood” (2 Sam 16:7-8). Then, as Absalom tries to de-throne David, Shimei piles on his hatred and declares it justice for David’s throne to be also stolen.

David claims his innocence as God’s anointed king. He has a clear conscience about the way he honored Saul. Yet David knows he’s still a sinner and that God can see his heart: “O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you” (Ps 69:5). Even if I’m innocent in this matter, I’m guilty in other ways. I deserve your judgment and fall upon your mercy. If this is your punishment, I accept it freely.” David freely submits to God, but prays that the people do not suffer because of him: “Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel. For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach, that dishonor has covered my face” (vv. 6-7). David affirms his allegiance to God even as he’s persecuted for his faith in God. His kinsmen throw shame and his family rejects him: “I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons” (v. 8). Yet David endures all this for the sake of God: “For zeal for your house has consumed me, and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me” (v. 9). Those who hate God, now hate David as the representative of God. They mock his humility and reproach his mourning over sin (vv. 10-11). Thus, David is ridiculed by both rich and poor alike—both the elders in the public square and the drunkards in the street (v. 12).

Drowning in shame can leave us helpless, but Psalm 69 leads us to the One who saves. For as the psalm unveils David’s story, God points us to the Greater David, Jesus Christ, who cleansed the temple in Jerusalem to fulfill these words of David: “Zeal for your house will consume me” (John 2:17; see Ps 69:9). Just as David remained focused on the glory of God and the building of God’s temple, so also Jesus drove out those who defiled his Father’s house. Throughout his life, our Lord was hated without a cause (John 15:25). They called Jesus illegitimate (John 8:41-47) and demon-possessed (Mark 12:24)—a friend of tax collectors and prostitutes (Mark 2:15-17). The religious leaders despised him for speaking the truth about hypocrisy, then plotted to destroy him (e.g. Mark 3:6). They falsely accused him as a blasphemer and condemned him to the cross (Matt 26:59-68). So, although Christ never sinned, he was made sin for us (2 Cor 5:21). He was that man, from Psalm 69, drowning in shame—not his, but ours. For God punished his beloved Son with the judgment we deserved (Rom 5:8). Like David, then, “In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence” (Heb 5:7). Like David, Jesus was drowning in shame as he descended to the grave. Yet still, he trusted that God would hear him. For if God was unfaithful to his own beloved Son, then God’s people would also suffer. If God abandoned his Anointed King, then the nation would be lost and the covenant promises broken. If Jesus was never raised from the dead, then we of all people are most to be pitied (1 Cor 15:12–19).

In like manner, we learn from Jesus how to face our shameful suffering. It’s certainly painful when someone slanders us. Such lies can break up relationships, destroy careers, tarnish our reputation, and often leave painful scars. Yet we know that followers of Christ will be hated without a cause (John 15:18, 20b). So, Jesus claims, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 5:10). Get used to it. Expect it. Don’t be taken by surprise. Persecution for the sake of Christ is what you signed up for when you followed Christ (Matt 16:24). Many will hate you for choosing Christ. And even if you’re innocent of particular accusations, God knows that we’re all sinners who have dishonored him time and time again. We’ve ruined the family name and deserve to be disowned. But instead of casting us off, God sent our older brother, Jesus Christ, to take our shame upon himself (Col 1:21-23). God’s firstborn Son died upon a shameful cross and suffered our dishonor to restore us to the Father’s family. This is good news that God removes our shame, but it also keeps us humble when we are falsely accused by others.

God’s People Trust Him to Answer Prayer (vv. 13-21)

As we encounter shameful suffering, we must, like David, seek the Lord in prayer: “But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness” (Ps 69:13). Three times, in quick succession, David calls the Lord to answer him (vv. 13, 16, 17). But God will only answer at the “acceptable time” of his own choosing, so David trusts God’s sovereign plan though his circumstances haven’t changed. He’s back in the bog—stuck in the muck—still fighting for his life (vv. 14-15). “The pit” is a metaphor for death itself, but David continues seeking God who answers prayer according to his character: his “steadfast love,” “saving faithfulness,” and “abundant mercy” (vv. 13, 16). David cries out with urgency: “Answer me, . . . Turn to me. Hide not your face, . . . Make haste to answer. Draw near, . . . Redeem me; Ransom me” (vv. 16-18). He appeals to God’s compassion for his people: “You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Reproaches have broken my heart, so that I am in despair. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none. They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst they gave me sour wine to drink” (vv. 19-21). David’s enemies are out to get him, so God alone must be his Savior.

Once more, we see the coming Son of God as the Answer to our prayers. Christ is the epitome of steadfast love and faithfulness—of abundant mercies and saving grace. He is our Rescuer from the pit—our Lifeguard when we’re drowning—our Savior, Redeemer, Ransom, and Friend. Salvation comes through the character of God and the person of God’s Son, but Christ himself would have to suffer before he saved us. For our sake, he faced countless enemies, public reproach, devastating shame, and the pit of death. Even as he hung upon the cross, he cried, “I thirst,” to live out the prophecy of this messianic psalm (John 19:28; see Ps 69:21). Then, after “Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, ‘It is finished,’ and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit” (John 19:30).[3] His mockers sought to intensify his suffering—to waken his senses to the excruciating pain. They weren’t trying to quench his thirst, but to poison him with gall. Yet Jesus took what they meant for evil and turned it about for good. For after drinking the poison that we deserved, he declared that “It is finished: The debt is paid. All your sins are forgiven in full!” So, we trust the Lord to answer prayer because he has answered us in the past—most crucially at the cross (Rom 8:31b-32). We pray with faith because we trust God’s character as merciful and gracious. And even when we’re drowning in our shame, we bow the knee to God: “Not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). We trust that God will answer us in his good time (2 Cor 6:2).

God’s People Call for Righteous Judgment (vv. 22-28)

David’s cry for justice is called an imprecatory prayer: May they choke on their food and be caught unawares. Strike them blind, so they cannot see. Make their knees knock with fear as they reap the destruction they have sown. O Lord, pour out your wrath on them and let your burning anger overtake them. Wipe them from the earth, for they kicked me when I was down. Make them feel the pain I felt and do not forgive their sin. Instead, blot them from the Book of Life and condemn the wicked to hell (see Ps 69:22-28). Such imprecatory prayers may sound “un-Christian,” but the Holy Spirit has inspired David’s psalm. So, he’s expressing the very words of God and not just venting sinful anger. We must discern the timeless truths that first applied to David, then to Christ, and still for us today. David writes as the anointed king who represents God’s people. And he recalls God’s covenant promises to bless those who bless Israel, but to curse those who curse them (Gen 12:3). David approves of God’s judgment against his enemies because God’s heart is to protect his children. His imprecatory psalm is then further interpreted in the life of Christ. For when Christ died upon the cross, his suffering had a twofold purpose: both to save and to judge. Those who trusted in the work of Jesus would be saved, but those who hardened their hearts against his suffering would be condemned (Rom 2:4-5). Christ’s work upon the cross will either save us or condemn us.

In like manner, we can also pray for justice while keeping the heart of Christ to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matt 5:44; e.g., Luke 23:34). “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him” (John 3:17). Here is the gospel truth that Jesus never minimized his Father’s righteous judgment. He never brushed past sin. Instead, he took his Father’s wrath upon himself. And as he bore the weight of sin, he knew exactly how much it cost. Jesus echoes this imprecatory psalm of David “by becoming a curse for us” (Gal 3:13).

How do we apply these truths? First, approve God’s righteous judgment according to his timing and his character. Then, proclaim this good news as judgment day is coming: Jesus came to save the repentant and to condemn the rebellious, requiring all to make a choice. No wrongs will go unpunished, for sin is either paid for at the cross or for eternity in hell. God’s wrath must either fall upon the Savior or upon the sinner. So, like Jesus, this frees us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us. We can bless those who curse us and pray for our abusers (Luke 6:27-29, 35-36). For the good news of God’s righteous judgment teaches us to forgive.

God’s People Praise His Glorious Name (vv. 29-36)

Psalm 69 then concludes as God’s people praise his glorious name. Although David laments, “But I am afflicted and in pain” (v. 29a), he trusts that God will help him: “Let your salvation, O God, set me on high!” (v. 29b). With this short and simple prayer, David trusts the Lord to answer, then he turns his heart to worship: “I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs. When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive. For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners” (vv. 30-33). David calls Israel to worship the God who saves them from their enemies: “Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them. For God will save Zion and build up the cities of Judah, and people shall dwell there and possess it; the offspring of his servants shall inherit it, and those who love his name shall dwell in it” (vv. 34-36). The God of the entire universe deserves the praises of the entire universe: heaven and earth and sea. For God will restore his people when they repent. They will dwell in the promise of his blessings and praise his glorious name.

At the cross, Christ also was “afflicted and in pain” (v. 29a). Yet “God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Phil 2:9-11). Therefore, Christ leads his people in praise to God. He is our worship leader—our sweet psalmist who sings the eternal glories of God’s name (Ps 69:30). Here is the good news when you are drowning in shame: You can cry out for God to save and trust him to answer prayer. You can call for his justice and know he makes all things right in the end. Then, take confidence that God will raise you up just as he set his resurrected Son on high. In Christ Jesus, you are never left in shame.

Life Application Study:

1. Describe a time when you suffered intense shame. Did this come from your own thoughts or from the lies of others? How does Christ address your shame with gospel truths?
2. How did Christ live out the messianic prophecies in Psalm 69. For example, consider how he drank the poisoned gall on our behalf (John 19:28-30).
3. Can Christians pray the imprecatory psalms? What are the timeless truths in Psalm 69:22-28?
4. How does knowing that God is just and righteous help you to forgive like Christ (Col 3:12-13; e.g., Luke 23:34)? Who must you forgive today?
5. Memorize Psalm 69:30 as you praise the Lord this week.
6. Pray Psalm 69 back to God when others seek to shame you:
   1. Save me, O God, when I am drowning in my shame (vv. 1-4).
   2. You know all the sin in my heart, yet still you have cleansed me (v. 5).
   3. Uphold me, for I have been persecuted for your name’s sake (vv. 6-12).
   4. Deliver me, O Lord, in your good time according to your good character (vv. 13-18).
   5. Have mercy on me by bringing judgment on my enemies (vv. 19-28).
   6. Then, I will praise you, O God, when you restore me on high (vv. 29-36).

[1] The New Testament cites Psalm 69 at least 15 times with five being direct quotations (John 2:17; 15:25; Acts 1:20; Rom 11:9-10; 15:3).

[2] The term for “neck” is the same word meaning “life” or “breath” (nephesh).

[3] The “poison” and “vinegar” offered to David are the same terms in the Septuagint that Matthew uses to speak of “gall” (27:34) and “sour wine” (v. 48). John 19:28 also refers to his “thirst.”